Hogwarts Hears Harry Potter in 99 Seconds
by PadfootAndMe
Summary: Hogwarts is summoned to hear the fab song be P.A.I.N.T. I don't own anything, except a large jar of Nutella.


Disclaimer: I don't own the lyrics to P.A.I.N.T.'s awesome song, and I don't own any of Ms. Rowlings fantastic characters, either. All I own is the plot, not that there's much of one.

**A/N: ****I'm busy working on a fic that I haven't uploaded yet, but this idea came to me, so I thought I'd just upload this one. This is for fun, and please let me know if you see any mistakes. I'll give you the link to the video at the bottom. Enjoy!**

_Lyrics_

Normal text

"I wonder why Professor Dumbledore called us for an assembly in the Great Hall?" pondered Hermione. The trio were in their fourth year, and Professor Dumbledore's voice had just been broadcast through the whole school, telling everyone to go to the Great Hall, as soon as the lesson was over.

"No idea," said Ron "but at least we miss Potions!"

"Yes!" celebrated Harry.

"Actually Harry, Potions is rather important. You see-"

"We're here!"

Harry quietly celebrated in his mind. They took their places is the Great Hall, and waited for Dumbledore to make an announcement.

"Good Morning, children!" Dumbledore boomed. "I presume you are all wondering why I called you here,"

"no kidding," murmured Ron.

"Shh!" whispered Hermione.

"I called you here because The Muggle world has provided us with yet another helping hand. A song, on the Muggle site YouTube, has given us major clues as to what will become of us all. I will project the video, now."

An excited murmur went up around the room. A Muggle video? This was a novelty!

Suddenly, the room darkened, and a massive screen at the front of the room lit up. Two faces appeared, and they began singing.

'_There once was a boy named Harry, _

_Destined to be a star,_

_His parents were killed by Voldemort,_

_Who gave him a Lightning Scar'_

Everybody gasped. How did the muggles know this? And the Muggles dare to say the name?

'_Yo, Harry, you're a wizard!_

_Harry goes to Hogwarts, he meets Ron and Hermione,_

_McGonagall requires he play for Gryffindor,_

_Draco is a Daddy's boy, Quirrel becomes Unemployed,_

_The Sorcerer's stone is destroyed by Dumbledore,'_

Draco Malfoy stood up, enraged, and stormed out of the room. How dare that stupid muggle song insult him!

"How do they know all of this?" asked Harry.

"No idea!" said Hermione and Ron together.

The song continued:

'_Ron breaks his wand, now Ginny's gone,_

_And Harry's in mortal danger, _

_Tom Riddle hides his snake inside his Ginormous Secret Chamber.'_

How on earth? The Hogwarts population were really confused, now.

'_Harry Blows up aunt marge, _

_The dementors come and take charge,_

_Lupin is a wolf, the Rat's a man, and now the prisoner is at large,_

_Thyey use time travel so they can save the prisoner of Azkaban,_

_Who just so happens to be harry's godfather,_

_I don't really get it either'_

"what isn't there to get?" asked Harry? "And they didn't even mention that he was innocent!"

"I din't know, Harry. Shh, this year's coming on! Maybe we'll find out who gets into the Triwizard Tournament, and who wins!" said Hermione.

'_harry gets put in the Triwizard tournament,_

_With dragons and Mermaids,_

_Oh no! _

_Edward Cullen gets slayed,_

_HE'S BACK!'_

"Who's back? And Who is Edward Cullen?" asked Ron, discombobulated.

'I think it means Voldemort, I could be wrong. You don't want to know who Edward Cullen is. Just be glad he's dead. Harry, are you planning on illegally entering the tournament?"

"No! Of course not! I- I couldn't- the age line!" stuttered Harry.

"Oh, of course!"

'_Harry, Harry, it's getting scary,_

_Voldemort's back ,you're a revolutionary Harry,_

_Dumbledore, Dumbledore, why is he ignoring your, constant attempts to contact him,_

_He is forced to leave the school, Umbridge arrives, Draco's a tool,_

_Kids break into the ministry, Sirius Black is dead as can be, ohhhh!'_

"Sirius? Voldemort? Ministry? Dumbledore? And who the hell is Umbridge? Next year is gonna be hard."

"Wow. Maybe you should warn Sirius!"

"Yeah, I will."

'_Split your soul,_

_Seven parts of a whole,_

_They're horcruxes,_

_It's Dumbledore's End!'_

"What is a horcrux? And why are there seven? Does that mean Dumbledore will die? Oh my gosh, what the hell do they mean?"

'_there once wasa boy named Harry,_

_Who constantly conquered Death,_

_But in one final duel between good and bad,_

_He may take his Final breath..'_

"What the? Is that it? I don't know who dies? Do I live? Grr!"

**A/N: ****Thanks to P.A.I.N.T. for their awesome lyrics, and here's the link to the song, if you haven't seen/ heard it yet: .com/watch?v=y57sYHIDP_Y**


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